...And to the men...
25. The Rosie O'Donnell Show is approximately one hour long. Depending on the time of day it comes on where you live, this would be the perfect time to mow the lawn, weed the garden, tinker with the car, or any of the 20 other things we have to constantly remind you to do.
24. A Barbecue outside on the patio does not constitute a fine dinner out. (Citronella Candles do NOT set a romantic mood, either)
23. Dress to impress once in awhile. You never know, you may actually like all the other women ogling you from afar.
22. Go on, admit it. You secretly like us calling you at work.
21. Shorts and black socks with sandals is NOT sexy.
20. While we all should be in the spirit of recycling, shouldn't you give up wearing the "ripped to shreads" underwear, even if all the holes are worn just so?
19. We already know what you are thinking. Sometimes we just need clarification.
18. Don't complain about OUR vast array of shoes, and we won't pick on you about YOUR vast collection of "sneakers for every occasion".
17. Things you can help with scrubbing the bathroom, fixing things that don't need to be fixed, holding the instruction manuals while we put the new things together, and lighting a fire.
16. Shopping IS a spectator sport, and you are the lucky spectator. Accept this harsh reality, as will we when the roles reverse, say, at the local sporting goods store.
15. While the lingerie with strategic openings appeals to you, most of the time we pray the store will exchange it for something more comfortable when you're not looking.
14. How is it that men seem to lose their way to the laundry room after marriage? We know you did it before you married us, we've seen the pink underwear.
13. Sports Center comes on roughly every six hours. Plus they have continuous updates during every hour. If you miss something due to us talking to you, chances are you'll hear all about it in another 15 or so minutes, so relax.
12. We appreciate your input on most issues, but our Soap Operas aren't one of them. We already know she's the evil one, and he's screwing around. A recap complete with intervals of "I can't believe you're making me watch this" are unnecessary.
11. We know you watch Baywatch for the fine acting skills of the actors and actresses.
10. Even though you think Pamela Anderson is a babe, don't expect us to agree.
9. Women have a better sense of direction than men. Accept it.
8. When lost, getting out and asking for directions is okay. Driving around aimlessly and swearing is not.
7. Cut us some slack when we ask you questions about how sports are played and the rules. Help us understand these games better. Consider it your civic duty.
6. Beer burps are not considered a second language, even if you CAN burp the alphabet.
5. Towels dry faster when they are hung up on the towel rod, not crumpled on the floor.
4. Take time to smell the flowers. Then bring some home to remind us how much you care.
3. Psst... We're only lending you the remote... If you have kids, you know who really owns that T.V.
2. We really are the sex crazed maniacs you fell in love with. Just reset your clock to our female standard time, and you'll see what I mean.
1. Finally, don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. This is one of the many reasons we married you.
No we do not!!!!