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#22371 - 08/20/02 08:22 PM undecided social issue
Moffesto Offline
UGN Supporter

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 730
Loc: Kuntucky
Ok, X (chick) comes over Y's (me) house to spend the night. X and Y begin to get close and Y definatly feels soemthign going on and really begins to fall for X. X and Y have a great time that night and Y cant wait till she comes over again. Y gets news of Z (a friend) and X liking eachother and dosent know what to think or do. Y really likes this chick and so does Z.

nice lil storie but i dont have a fucking clue of what to do now. After that night I havent felt the same and today Im feeling suicidal. Anyone have an suggestions?
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#22372 - 08/20/02 08:29 PM Re: undecided social issue
Moffesto Offline
UGN Supporter

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 730
Loc: Kuntucky
to explain more, me and this person had come to close contact and she led me on to make me think she liked me but i was informed that she liked a friend of mine so i was thrown off balance and have no fucking clue what to do. My friend and her met lieka week bbefore and i wasnt aware they were like that until after i felt this way for her.
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#22373 - 08/20/02 08:30 PM Re: undecided social issue
Moffesto Offline
UGN Supporter

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 730
Loc: Kuntucky
im looking for supporting replys rather than someone telling me to kill myself :x
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#22374 - 08/20/02 08:39 PM Re: undecided social issue
sinetific Offline
nobody

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 815
Loc: Ann Arbor
tell her how you feel, either two things will happen: 1 she'll tell you she feels that way too ro 2 she'll tell you she don't feel that way and you'll be a little embarassed for a week. That or just dont say anything and live in agony for the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

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#22375 - 08/20/02 08:43 PM Re: undecided social issue
SilentRage Offline
DollarDNS Owner

Registered: 03/04/02
Posts: 1273
Loc: OH, USA
Well, I hate games. So I cut straight to the point or I simply refuse to play. I'd tell her how you feel, and ask her which of you she prefers to date. If she plays games then I'll have nothing more to do with her.

There are other mature ways to handle the situation, but I feel this is the best for you. You are obviously emotionally delicate so you need to avoid situations that can tear you apart. A stronger man can date her as a non-boyfriend and not expect her to date only you. If you feel you're strong enough, then that would be your opportunity to show her that you're the better choice. At this stage, physical intimacy is definately a nono. You don't want to be used.
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#22376 - 08/20/02 08:52 PM Re: undecided social issue
Cold Sunn Offline
UGN GFX Whore

Registered: 03/03/02
Posts: 574
Loc: us
Well, i used to be into the dating thing. Actually, dating isn't the right word. Going out.

The more i thought about it, the less i cared about it. See, around here, most people only go out with people to be going out. Another thing, even when they go out for reasons like yours, later after they break up, they just count them like victories, even though they are just failures. I guess this could really just be me thinking, "Well if i never set myself up for failure, then i won't." Though i tell myself all these reasons and like to believe them. Another thing that annoys me is, "Liking." I really haven't "Liked" anyone in a long time. I don't go pursuing dates, and since then a few people have said they "liked me" "that way." or thought i "liked them." I am really not feeling it. Sure, not going out reduces your chances of getting laid, but come on. I know I am not the only guy out there that realizes hurting someone by lying about your feelings for them is wrong.

Now, to respond to what you said with a real answer. Depending on how much you think your friend Z likes X, (not the other way around) I think you should go for it. I think it is a bad idea to make her choose like that, and so I think you should really compare you and Z. Which one of you do you think really has better intentions, which one likes her more, and which would work out best. I might be the only one, but if I looked at it as, "Which one does she like more?" then I would get it wrong. Or, think I am wrong.

And, if she chooses him over you, do not kill yourself. If you think you would work better, the best thing to do is come out and say it. In private, and in person. Tell her how you feel, and the situation. You might find out she doesn't like the other dude, or maybe not like you. Though still, don't kill yourself.

Good luck dude. Hope I helped at least any.

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#22377 - 08/20/02 09:28 PM Re: undecided social issue
Moffesto Offline
UGN Supporter

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 730
Loc: Kuntucky
after my previous post about being shy, i actually broke threw it to get to her and once me and her got to messing around i felt something between us, nothing i had ever felt. Personally i cant decide who has best intentions.... i dunno what his are but i know the gentleman that i am to females that it could work out.
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#22378 - 08/21/02 03:25 PM Re: undecided social issue
meadow Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/20/02
Posts: 3
Loc: alaska
also keep in mind that it is better to regred something you have done rather than something you have not so if she shoots you down than heay at least you will not wonder what would have happend with the whole affair had you not said any thing and all girls are sy-co in their own littel ways so dont beat your self up over it.

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#22379 - 08/22/02 12:00 AM Re: undecided social issue
Scorpion Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/20/02
Posts: 6
Loc: Ohio
How good a friend are Y and Z. If they are very close friends, or even just close friends, I think that they should talk about it first to each other. Talk it over and find out how the other one truely feels about X. If Y and Z feel the same way, they should go "best man win" so to speak. Set guidelines so that you do not hurt your friendship in the process of trying to win over X.

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#22380 - 08/22/02 12:25 AM Re: undecided social issue
Gremelin Offline

Community Owner
*****

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 7193
Loc: Portland, OR; USA
Be short sweet and to the point, chicks love straight forward people.
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#22381 - 08/22/02 02:22 AM Re: undecided social issue
unreal Offline



Registered: 03/01/02
Posts: 860
Loc: KCRQ
Quote:
Y gets news of Z (a friend) and X liking eachother
We're going to analyze what you just said here. You like the girl, friend likes the girl, and girl likes the friend. I hate to break it to you bud, but this isn't looking too good for you. Why? A few reasons...

1.) Girls love to flirt. It even seems as though women are born with an inate ability to do it. Now, the point that I'm driving at is that girls may flirt with you, and feel nothing of it. Meaning, you may fall completely head-over-heels in love with her, while she's just having a little fun.

2.) By telling me that the girl is into your friend, and not you, you're saying quite a bit about her level of interest in you. I think you need to start being realistic here, and realize that the odds of you and her getting together, while she is interested in your friend, is quite low.

Now, don't get too down. You can try something to gauge her interest in you. Moffesto, as strange and counter-productive as this might sound to you, I want you to start avoiding her. If she is genuinely interested in you, she will make the effort to spend more 1 on 1 time with you. See, girls love a mystery man. If you stop giving her the amount of attention that you used to, she will begin to wonder about your intentions. Suddenly she starts pursuing you. You take control of this situation at this point.

Now, let's look at the other side of the coin. Maybe you start avoiding her a little bit, and maybe she doesn't respond the way you want her to (by trying to spend time with you). This is the part that will be hard: walking away from the situation. If you are into her, and she is into someone else, don't try to push it. Telling her your feelings in this situation will only make her uncomfortable, and will push her away.

Also, by no means should you compromise your friendship with "Z" for this girl. My friends and I work on the concept of "bros before hoes." Meaning, your friends always come first.

Good luck.

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#22382 - 08/22/02 10:00 AM Re: undecided social issue
SilentRage Offline
DollarDNS Owner

Registered: 03/04/02
Posts: 1273
Loc: OH, USA
oh, I failed to note this those rediculous pronouns Y and Z were friends. Yeah whatever. You got all the advice you need I think.
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#22383 - 08/22/02 11:30 AM Re: undecided social issue
hKzKnight Offline
Member

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 626
Loc: LAN
My arm fell asleep. d00d I live that life 24/7... a bit diff. It happenZ wit me and a friend ( i got a lot of chicks as friends), yet I already go out with someone... As well other friends/chicks like me. Let her know how u feel, rest is up to her. Best of luck... I say if u got close, she digs ya... Sorry prob late here. Well I'm back people... I died again and couldn't come back till my boss let me go (the devil).
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#22384 - 08/22/02 02:47 PM Re: undecided social issue
psychogen Offline
Member

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 257
Loc: UK
Hmm, chicks love straight to the point people - erhmm I have to argue that Giz, cause Ive had my fair share of pussy and I tell you that being straight to the point did not work with over 60% of them.

But my suggestion(allmost always had worked for me) meet up with her and just get all nice and chatty. then when the time comes that she has to go or vice versa, just start kissing her. From what i know chicks like shy people, so act shy, hehe thats a death trap for most sweet and love dubbed chicks.

Ohhh compliment on her achievments, play as if u envy parts about her that you would have liked to have experienced, if she has been to places u aint been to, ask her about those places, be informative BUT always put her first ALWAYS!

Im pretty sure ull hit with the formula above.
If not kill urself
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#22385 - 08/22/02 03:26 PM Re: undecided social issue
Moffesto Offline
UGN Supporter

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 730
Loc: Kuntucky
i think i can pull the shy thing off, lol. I doubt ima kill myself, lol. Thanks for the advice tho.
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