FREEHOLD IA - - One Christian mother is in the hospital and 256 teenage boys have been baptized in turpentine in the aftermath of the release of Disney's new movie, Monsters, Inc. "Monsters is just secular hip-lingo for 'demons,'" announced Pastor Deacon Fred, "and you can always count on the homos at Disney to unleash a slew of them on the bible-believing public as we get closer to the Lord's big birthday bash.

Landover Baptist Church member, Mrs. Tawny Huxton, spent the past two years living in a 3-foot wrought-iron cage at the Landover Baptist Hospital for the Mentally Unstable or Otherwise Demon Possessed. She was involuntarily committed after returning early from Bible study and walking in on her son Timmy. He was masturbating like there was no tomorrow while straddling a Jar-Jar Binks Doll in their rumpus room.

It may be fake, old but funny...
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