does anyone know of any tools that allow you to get an ip address from an icq user?

Trillian displays IP's for ICQ users automatically if it can identify it.

i guess you can use the netstat command...
send a file or something to the one you want the ip from and write netstat in the command prompt.

tell me if i'm wrong...

I've always had luck with just sending them a message, then having them send me one. That was always enough to get the info in netstat...unless you use a proxy of course.