The President's Resume

Posted by: Disgruntled

The President's Resume - 12/21/03 05:26 AM

A friend of mine sent this to me. Hope you guys/gals enjoy it as much as I did.

My Darn Good Resume. Accomplishments as President

By GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House. USA

* I attacked and took over two countries.

* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

* I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set an economic for the most private
bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

* I set an all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stockmarket.

* I am the first president in US history to enter the with a criminal record.

* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

* I set the record for the most campaign fundraising trips by any president in US history.

* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in history.

* I set the all-time for the most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.

* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other president in US history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

* I cut healthcare benefits for war vetrans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneouly take to the streets to protest me ( 15 million people), shattering the record against any person in the history of mankind.

* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneouly go bankrupt.

* I presided over the biggest corporate stockmarket fraud any market in any country in the history of the world.

* I am the first president in US history to oder a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* I set the all-time record for the biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in the US history.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the International Criminal Court.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations inspectors acess during the 2002 US elections.

* I am the all-time US (and world) record for most corporate campaign donations.

* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kennth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the codes to Air Force 1).

* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US Law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.

* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

* In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the Civil War.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in Us history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down. record unemployment being the most recent achievement.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas drug conviction has been erased and not available).

* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All the minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and are unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

source:
http://www.kmfdm.net/news_archives/82903.html
Posted by: UndeadBob

Re: The President's Resume - 12/21/03 07:08 AM

thats a pretty good record for a president...
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 12/21/03 12:50 PM

what a president we have. he has singlehandedly turned this country into the exact opposite of what our founding fathers wanted this country to be. grrrrrrrrrr!!!! i wish i could smack the man...
Posted by: Disgruntled

Re: The President's Resume - 12/21/03 02:42 PM

You go girl!!!
Posted by: Killswitch_J

Re: The President's Resume - 12/24/03 02:21 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by IceMyst:
grrrrrrrrrr!!!! i wish i could smack the man...
I say after you smak him, then kick him in his tiny little nads!!!!
<img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />
Posted by: Disgruntled

Re: The President's Resume - 12/24/03 10:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Killswitch_J:
Quote:
Originally posted by IceMyst:
grrrrrrrrrr!!!! i wish i could smack the man...
I say after you smak him, then kick him in his tiny little nads!!!!
<img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />
First, welcome to the board.
Second, ILMAO!
Posted by: Shinobi

Re: The President's Resume - 12/25/03 05:26 AM

...Intersting...and the bad thing is a lot of people in the US support bush for the fact that 'We camptured saddam'. If Bush gets reelected i believe we may be headed for WWIII or atleast another Civil War if not both. Which reminds me of a page, and a person awhile back who predicted this would happen http://www.johntitor.com hope the admins don't mind the link.
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 12/25/03 05:51 PM

wow some of what that guy typed triped me out... but he did have a point when he said "did it ever occcur to you that ur society might be better off with half of it dead?".... i still want to smack bush and possibly shot his nads off. pity i'm not really that violent...
Posted by: Killswitch_J

Re: The President's Resume - 12/26/03 05:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by IceMyst:
i still want to smack bush and possibly shot his nads off. pity i'm not really that violent...
Thats ok. He does tend to rub alot of people the extremely wrong way. Oh, and if you were to try and shoot his nads off, you would have to have an electron microscope, to asist you in finding them first. I hear their smaller the an atom.
<img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 12/26/03 10:24 PM

all i have to do is aim in the general direction and witha shot gun he'll probably loose most of his hip bones also. he he he he he... not that he gets any in the first place. his dear first lady looks like an ice queen... very very figid
Posted by: Disgruntled

Re: The President's Resume - 12/27/03 07:55 AM

IceMyst, you and Killswitch_J made me laugh so hard I hurt myself.
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 12/27/03 12:19 PM

one mission accomplished mission shot bushs balls off still in the works...
Posted by: fleshwound

Re: The President's Resume - 12/28/03 01:46 AM

blahh... i'm not a big fan of Bush, but you guys take it way too far. seems like every other topic you guys talk about is how awful Bush is. Too bad.
Posted by: Killswitch_J

Re: The President's Resume - 12/28/03 05:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by fleshwound:
blahh... i'm not a big fan of Bush, but you guys take it way too far. seems like every other topic you guys talk about is how awful Bush is. Too bad.
I'm going on the assumption, that IceMyst is joking.
<img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />
And yes we very much dislike him.
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 12/28/03 07:55 AM

i am joking and i dont think i'm taking this too far... i need to bash somebody in and i think it's more fun to joke around about bush then it is my father...
Posted by: fleshwound

Re: The President's Resume - 12/28/03 11:51 PM

i'm just saying that in general the bush hatred seems to go way too far. i understand disliking his actions and foreign policies. it just seems to me that you are just looking for things to bitch about dealing with him. sure some of the "resume" thing is funny. but the other topic about him "cheating" to win the election is just plain bullshit. if you want to really have a great topic to bitch about, talk about how he seems to be completely ignoring domestic policies. how he obviously thinks the "war on terror" is more important than homeland education. that he actually thinks the Patriot Act is a good idea. talk about real issues, not the ridiculous stuff.
Posted by: Killswitch_J

Re: The President's Resume - 12/29/03 05:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by fleshwound:
i'm just saying that in general the bush hatred seems to go way too far. i understand disliking his actions and foreign policies. it just seems to me that you are just looking for things to bitch about dealing with him. sure some of the "resume" thing is funny. but the other topic about him "cheating" to win the election is just plain bullshit. if you want to really have a great topic to bitch about, talk about how he seems to be completely ignoring domestic policies. how he obviously thinks the "war on terror" is more important than homeland education. that he actually thinks the Patriot Act is a good idea. talk about real issues, not the ridiculous stuff.
Why don't you start a topic on these things then we
can all join in.


Not being sarcastic.
Posted by: fleshwound

Re: The President's Resume - 12/29/03 07:14 AM

sounds sarcastic to me
Posted by: Disgruntled

Re: The President's Resume - 12/29/03 09:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Killswitch_J:
Not being sarcastic.
Are you sure, cause it does kinda sound sarcastic.
Posted by: fleshwound

Re: The President's Resume - 12/29/03 10:18 PM

hehehe.. oh well. all in good fun my friend
Posted by: Killswitch_J

Re: The President's Resume - 12/30/03 01:54 AM

Seriously, I wasn't being sarcastic. Sorry if it sounded that way.
Posted by: Gollum

Re: The President's Resume - 04/18/04 09:02 AM

http://www.crossbearer.com/resume/The_Truth.pdf
i know this thread is old, but i found this.//
Posted by: §intå×

Re: The President's Resume - 05/02/04 10:00 PM

Bush plain scares me. I do not find him funny at all. He is a very dangerous man. The acts he has made will affect our nation and children for years to come. We are so deep in this terrorist war shit that no matter who comes in we can't just pull out. It will send bad signals to our now allies.

It is like Afganistan. In the 80's Russia fought a 10 year war with them while we secretly trained and funded the Afgan side. When russia pulled out, so did the US. We broke promises and alliances with those people. We had to or else there would have been a big political snafu with Russia and USA.

So we pissed off a young leader named Osama Bin Laden.


Lesson is this, say Bush is not re-elected. That dose not mean to war is over. Not even close to over. That dose not mean the new guy will fix everything. There are wheels in motion now. Most likely they will stay in motion. We will pay the piper when all is said and done too. Wars take money. This country has very little right now. So we will shoulder the cost throuh tax increases in the years to come.
Posted by: Red Mage

Re: The President's Resume - 05/05/04 08:27 AM

The Libertarian Party seems to have some good ideas in this category..
http://www.lp.org
Sorry if this seems like an advertisement or anything, but it is Bush and Kerry both suck, we need ANY third party to win :p +
Posted by: Flowbe1

Re: The President's Resume - 05/06/04 08:57 AM

beware, a revolution is in the midst....
Posted by: SHiDi

Re: The President's Resume - 02/23/05 01:35 PM

"* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.", that's the funniest one
Posted by: IceMyst

Re: The President's Resume - 02/23/05 02:15 PM

We have rules against posting to old threads without valuable content:

Quote:
16. Old Posts. If the thread has been dead (no posts) for more than a month, and you have nothing *ground breaking* to add to the conversation; please leave it alone! It died for a reason, leave it there.
Please read the rest of our rules here. They may come in handy:
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P.S. Just to let you know I am the nicest of the admin's and moderators. They can be real mean...
Posted by: Gothy

Re: The President's Resume - 06/02/05 10:57 AM

Quote:
what a president we have. he has singlehandedly turned this country into the exact opposite of what our founding fathers wanted this country to be. grrrrrrrrrr!!!! i wish i could smack the man...
Sorry this is a little late, but im going to say it anyway. Our founding fathers wanted to make Washington King just incase you didnt know that. And I'm sorry to say it well actually im not, but you have no idea what your talkin bout when it comes to history.
Posted by: Ghost

Re: The President's Resume - 06/03/05 06:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by IceMyst:
We have rules against posting to old threads without valuable content:

Quote:
16. Old Posts. If the thread has been dead (no posts) for more than a month, and you have nothing *ground breaking* to add to the conversation; please leave it alone! It died for a reason, leave it there.
Please read the rest of our rules here. They may come in handy:
Site Rules