Your browser does not seem to support CSS. If images appear below, please disregard them.
toggle
May
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31
Sponsored Links
Latest Postings
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#43184 - 08/02/07 02:34 PM my name is drake
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 129
Drake Offline
UGN Member
Drake Offline
UGN Member

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 129
Long Beach, California
My name, as I choose it for the moment, is drake. And it has been a long time since I posted here. but throughout out the the webs of communication that mankind has created, I’ve found this sight to be one of insight and acceptance rather than one of intolerance and although it might not be the best place to post these thoughts, it was the only place I could consider to do so.

The darkness is winning in my soul. In humanity itself. The yin is overtaking the yang. I don't want it to, but it is. I can bleed, and I can live, and no one will know the difference. This is not a suicide note, I do not plan on killing myself so let not that be an assumption, but a promise. Suicide is an empty way out of a complicated problem and the only reason I even deign to dignify that selfish concept is to assure you that I am not one of those lost to think that life is worthless. I am a character of loneliness and self-doubt hidden behind a facade of self-confident playboyness. My pain is more than I like but less than I thought it would be. I want to be Galahad. I want to be the perfect knight. I want to be impervious to sin but I cannot. I am a man. Flawed in all the ways we are. My mind is a sand castle built on the shores of a tempest, destroyed and rebuilt, again and again, only to be destroyed in the end. I live because I am supposed to, not because of a purpose. An action would be required to end life and an action is required to continue life. I choose the action to continue in the vain hope that my life will someday find a purpose.

I do not know the purpose of what I write except that I cannot and will not reveal this to my comrades of Real World for they would ridicule me and not understand that my outside lifestyle does not reflect inner anguish. I know there are others out there with bar napkins full of their thoughts discarded into a second drawer of an unused desk and the doodles of mind that was never meant to be sidled against the notes of profession or academia but are somehow so much more important than the supposed primary purpose of the open paper in front of them.

If you need to flame me to declare your superiority over me so be it, I will not care. I will ignore all advances of aggressiveness and while I believe deeply that no person has an solution, there may be somebody out there that has an answer. Never mistake the vast gap between an answer and a solution. Gizmo, in the long-ago past, answered the few questions I dared put forth although they were of much more an earthly nature than the conundrum I put forth now.

If an answer you cannot conceive, and as I said I do not expect one, I hope that the ramblings of a lost mind have made you look inward for at least a second. If there is an answer of depth or an answer that can spur thought among our fellow colleagues of mankind, i would highly appreciate hearing from you. i would like to close with the thought that I do not try to assume or pose that I am in someway enlightened above others. I merely wish to release what has been a singular thought to myself to the masses. With the kindest and best of hopes,

drake


The lover of inquiry must follow his beloved wherever it may lead him.
-Socrates
Top
Sponsored Links
#43199 - 08/03/07 12:51 PM Re: my name is drake [Re: Drake]
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,194
Gremelin Offline
Community Owner
Gremelin Offline

Community Owner

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,194
Portland, OR; USA
Reading this makes my head hurt, a serious case of ADD... Plus you remind me a lot about Weeve...

I am however quite curious as to why you posted this here, of all places; especially since you make reference to the possibility that 99% of the time someone would flame any post declared to "emo"...

You however reference an answer; however I cannot consieve what the question was...


Donate to UGN Security here.
UGN Security, Back of the Web, and VNC Web Services Owner
Top
#43226 - 08/07/07 11:56 PM Re: my name is drake [Re: Gremelin]
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 478
Artic Warrior Offline
UGN Member
Artic Warrior Offline
UGN Member

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 478
My room
I noticed you like philosophy, thats a good place to start. Maybe read The Republic of Plato. I recommend the Alan Bloom translation.
That will help you understand a bit about justice and lots of other things. Galahad would have read it lol.
Um.. You need to find someone! Someone that can teach you.

Weeve is a lot more cryptic then that. Reminds me of the modern day Crime.


Top

Member Spotlight
Gremelin

Gremelin
Portland, OR; USA
Posts: 7,194
Joined: February 2002
Show All Member Profiles 
Forum Statistics
Forums46
Topics45,743
Posts80,911
Members2,157
Most Online1,567
Apr 25th, 2010
Top Posters(All Time)
UGN Security 38,907
Gremelin 7,194
§intå× 3,255
SilentRage 1,273
Ice 1,146
pergesu 1,136
Infinite 1,041
jonconley 955
Girlie 908
unreal 860
Newest Members
Herbert_Sherbert, codemauve, Lillysdragon1984, Brewwit, boa
2157 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 4 guests and 2 spiders.
Latest News