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#22465 - 10/17/02 08:06 AM Kewls  
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 14
Boris Offline
Junior Member
Boris  Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 14
A Word on Kewls

By Rat_Bastard

What is a "kewl"? Kewls are most commonly kids (and early teens) who are most commonly young people who are very ignorant, childish and stupid. [Please note that this is just the majority age for kewls, there are many intelligent teens too]. There is nobody more stupid, more immature, and more ignorant than a kewl. They are complete posers, and liars (many never do the stuff they say!) and they often spread bullshit from the "Anarchist Cookbook", and other crapbooks. They possess little or no real knowledge about anarchy, weapons, explosives, drugs ect. From my observations there are now 4 different kinds of Kewls. (Kewl druggies were added due to popular demand). The classifications are: Kewl Hackers , Kewl Anarchists, Kewl Druggies, and Kewl Bombers.
Kewl Hackers often talk in "hacker language" or "1337 H4X0R" as they call it. This is a horrible mutilation of English and text. Here is an example: "1 4/\/\ H4\/1Ng 4 l33t LAN P4r7y 70nigh7! \/\/4nn4 cUm 4nD fr4g 50m3 n00b5!!!!1111 LOL!!11"
Translation: I'm having a leet LAN party tonight! Wanna come and frag some noobs? You are probably asking why is there "1"s after the "!"s, well they try to type exclamation marks by holding down the shift key and the one key to get it, but they almost always release the shift key before the one, resulting in the multiple ones. They think that typing this way will make them look "cooler" or should I say, "Kewler". They sometimes also type in ALL CAPS. They also overuse things like "LOL" (laugh out loud). The main problem is they think they are hackers when they are just using a pre-scripted program like Sub-7 or NetBus, where the programming is done for you, and all you do is point and click hacking. That is NOT real hacking. Do they think that Kevin Mitnick became one of the best hackers by using some stupid point and click program that does everything for them? Another thing is if you get in an argument with them they threaten to hack you or some other pitiful threat. Anyways, they think that they have some type of "power" that gives them a false sense of superiority and they think "\/\/000!!11 pH33R mY 1337 h4X0r Sk1115!! iM 4 H4rD k0r3 h4x0r!!111 LOL!!111" No, you are a hard core NERD!

Kewl Anarchists are the ones I hate most. A Kewl Anarchist is made when a stupid kid reads the famed "Anarchists Cookbook" or "The Jolly Rodgers Cookbook". When they read the cookbook, they think that "Anarchy" is vandalizing stuff and getting away with it. No it is NOT. Anarchy is a valid political movement not some teenage rebellion [censored], and it is not an excuse for you and your little [censored] friends to vandalize stuff. Go study politics and government if you want to know what Anarchy is, but unfortunately kewls have a 5 second attention span so they will never learn. What appalled me the most was when I saw a page saying "this page is for the Real anarchists, you know the kind who like to whip up some homemade drugs, or make a bomb, or raise hell" That was an actual quote! You little [censored] have totally debased and tarnished a legitimate ideology. The sad thing is many of them go on saying [censored] like "[censored] PIGS" and they totally hate any type of authority; the funny part is that they say that because they busted for vandalism or underage drinking. The cookbook has a bad reputation for reliability and safety, (not to mention lots of BULLSHIT) and most of the online files are even worse! The saddest part is that they are so damn stupid that they believe this bullshit. They seem to think that just because it's a text file means it's true, boy are they ever wrong. What really pisses me off is how Kewl anarchists post lots of "school trashing" guides. Talk about immaturity! You are the kind of shits who grow up to live on the street panhandling, and you will never get a good paying job. Most Kewl Anarchists vandalize for no reason, except for calling themselves hard core "Anarchists" or "Vandals". Anyways there are many other Crapbooks of the same loathsome breed that out there, such as xoo's cookbook, vortex's cookbook, jynx's coockbook, and the BIG BOOK OF MISCHIEF. I have met many Kewls and, have trashed-talked them until they finally learn NOT to be a Kewl, or until they go away. But the worst Kewl I EVER ran into is a guy who calls himself "THATdarnDAVIDkid" this guy's story is now a totse classic. Read the Files they are HILARIOUS!!

Here is his webpage: (the real page is gone now but I BACKED IT UP for your laughing pleasure!)
Night Vandals (see below)

here is the parody page

after all of that trashing he finally disappeared. Good riddance!

Kewl Druggies are another appalling breed of kewls that are probably the most brain-dead of them all. They mostly talk about making their own "homemade" drugs. These people are so brainless and have so little imagination that they must get high in order to enjoy life. And they do the stupidest things such as trying to get high on NUTMEG and peanuts! And some still think that you can get high off of banana peels. I can't believe that these lifeless dumbasses actually try that crap. If you wan't to get stoned JUST BUY SOME [censored] WEED! I also read stories of these lifeless twit's raiding their parent's medicine cabinet and taking whatever medication because their so desperate to get a buzz. To sum up one of the stories I read: this kid was desperate for a high so he took like a whole bottle of SSRI's (antidepressants) and he puked repedidly and his vision got all [censored] up and he started shaking uncontrollably. Serves him right. These people are a waste of food and resources. At least they improve the gene pool by overdosing (or taking the wrong thing) and killing themselves.

Kewl Bombers are the most likely to earn themselves a Darwin Award (and many have! like this retard) Kewl Bombers often try the "bombs" in the "Anarchists Cookbook" As you may well know most of the stuff in the Anarchists Cookbook is bullshit or inaccurate. Kewls actually believe if you put gas soaked cotton on fertilizer and light it it will blow up a big area. God they are so [censored] STUPID, they also think that they can set ANFO off with a CO2 cartridge bomb! what dumbasses! Do some research! High explosives need BLASTING CAPS to detonate, and NO you can't buy them. A common thing they do is they log on to forums and ask "how can I make a quick and easy bomb?" or "how do i get RDX?" they don't do ANY research, they just think they can ask any question and get quick answers. They are to lazy to use a search button! can you believe that? . They also like to make CO2 cartridge bombs, but usually this is bound to happen. You can see there was an entry and exit wound from the CO2 cartridge shrapnel. Here is another retard in action, this Dumbass tried to melt off the plastic coating of an M-80, and BOOM!!! no more fingers! The sheer stupidity of these kids amazes me! Another thing Kewl Bombers like to make is Pipebombs, but they usually screw up and they are reduced to chunks. Many Kewls who play with pipebombs end up like this . Even some older people are kewls, like this guy who made a large salute and this happened. Oh by the way, would you kewl kids please don't put explosives in your mouth.
The most common reasons for accidental pipebomb detonation are:
-Short fuzes .
-Shitty fuzes that go out (and they attempt to re-light)
-Drilling the fuze hole AFTER the explosive composition has been put in.
-The explosive composition reacting with the metal and detonating.
-Powder on the pipe threads (friction from screwing the cap on detonated the powder)
-Hammering the ends shut AFTER the explosive composition has been put in .
Kewls are probably the no. #1 reason why fireworks are banned in most places. I can't [censored] STAND little shits an who get injured by fireworks, because they held a firecracker too long, and it blew up. Then their [censored] irrisponsible soccer-mom goes on some stupid [censored] crusade to get all fireworks banned. [censored] retard parents and their little [censored] kids. Heres a suggestion: DONT RAISE STUPID RETARDED LITTLE SHITS!! If there were no little stupid shits and Irrisponsible parents, then we would all be having fun, by playing a game of lawn-darts and setting off legal M-80's and Cherry bombs.
P.S: I recently heard from my friend in the US, that SNAKES were banned for a year in one state because some kid swallowed them and chocked to death!! UN-[censored]-believable!!! it seems like kids are constantly finding new ways to kill themselves and ruin fun things for the rest of us.

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#22466 - 10/17/02 11:04 AM Re: Kewls  
Joined: Mar 2002
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Curse Offline
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Curse  Offline
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San Andreas
Very very true Boris... I like that article...

#22467 - 10/17/02 11:16 AM Re: Kewls  
Joined: Feb 2002
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Gremelin Offline
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Gremelin  Offline

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Portland, OR; USA
We call them "Kiddies" or "Clueberts" but yeh, every scene has them.

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#22468 - 10/17/02 11:37 AM Re: Kewls  
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 217
Asteos Offline
Asteos  Offline

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 217
Very annoying. Very frustrating. Very confused, dumb adolescent minds. Almost reminds me of myself when I was 11. Same frame of mind, only I wasn't as pathetic.

=~ s/boredom/ studies/g

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