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#22371 08/20/02 05:22 PM
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Ok, X (chick) comes over Y's (me) house to spend the night. X and Y begin to get close and Y definatly feels soemthign going on and really begins to fall for X. X and Y have a great time that night and Y cant wait till she comes over again. Y gets news of Z (a friend) and X liking eachother and dosent know what to think or do. Y really likes this chick and so does Z.

nice lil storie but i dont have a [censored] clue of what to do now. After that night I havent felt the same and today Im feeling suicidal. Anyone have an suggestions?


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#22372 08/20/02 05:29 PM
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to explain more, me and this person had come to close contact and she led me on to make me think she liked me but i was informed that she liked a friend of mine so i was thrown off balance and have no [censored] clue what to do. My friend and her met lieka week bbefore and i wasnt aware they were like that until after i felt this way for her.


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#22373 08/20/02 05:30 PM
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im looking for supporting replys rather than someone telling me to kill myself :x


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#22374 08/20/02 05:39 PM
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tell her how you feel, either two things will happen: 1 she'll tell you she feels that way too ro 2 she'll tell you she don't feel that way and you'll be a little embarassed for a week. That or just dont say anything and live in agony for the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

#22375 08/20/02 05:43 PM
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smirk Well, I hate games. So I cut straight to the point or I simply refuse to play. I'd tell her how you feel, and ask her which of you she prefers to date. If she plays games then I'll have nothing more to do with her.

There are other mature ways to handle the situation, but I feel this is the best for you. You are obviously emotionally delicate so you need to avoid situations that can tear you apart. A stronger man can date her as a non-boyfriend and not expect her to date only you. If you feel you're strong enough, then that would be your opportunity to show her that you're the better choice. At this stage, physical intimacy is definately a nono. You don't want to be used.


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#22376 08/20/02 05:52 PM
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Well, i used to be into the dating thing. Actually, dating isn't the right word. Going out.

The more i thought about it, the less i cared about it. See, around here, most people only go out with people to be going out. Another thing, even when they go out for reasons like yours, later after they break up, they just count them like victories, even though they are just failures. I guess this could really just be me thinking, "Well if i never set myself up for failure, then i won't." Though i tell myself all these reasons and like to believe them. Another thing that annoys me is, "Liking." I really haven't "Liked" anyone in a long time. I don't go pursuing dates, and since then a few people have said they "liked me" "that way." or thought i "liked them." I am really not feeling it. Sure, not going out reduces your chances of getting laid, but come on. I know I am not the only guy out there that realizes hurting someone by lying about your feelings for them is wrong.

Now, to respond to what you said with a real answer. Depending on how much you think your friend Z likes X, (not the other way around) I think you should go for it. I think it is a bad idea to make her choose like that, and so I think you should really compare you and Z. Which one of you do you think really has better intentions, which one likes her more, and which would work out best. I might be the only one, but if I looked at it as, "Which one does she like more?" then I would get it wrong. Or, think I am wrong.

And, if she chooses him over you, do not kill yourself. If you think you would work better, the best thing to do is come out and say it. In private, and in person. Tell her how you feel, and the situation. You might find out she doesn't like the other dude, or maybe not like you. Though still, don't kill yourself.

Good luck dude. Hope I helped at least any.

#22377 08/20/02 06:28 PM
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after my previous post about being shy, i actually broke threw it to get to her and once me and her got to messing around i felt something between us, nothing i had ever felt. Personally i cant decide who has best intentions.... i dunno what his are but i know the gentleman that i am to females that it could work out.


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#22378 08/21/02 12:25 PM
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also keep in mind that it is better to regred something you have done rather than something you have not so if she shoots you down than heay at least you will not wonder what would have happend with the whole affair had you not said any thing and all girls are sy-co in their own littel ways so dont beat your self up over it.

#22379 08/21/02 09:00 PM
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How good a friend are Y and Z. If they are very close friends, or even just close friends, I think that they should talk about it first to each other. Talk it over and find out how the other one truely feels about X. If Y and Z feel the same way, they should go "best man win" so to speak. Set guidelines so that you do not hurt your friendship in the process of trying to win over X.

#22380 08/21/02 09:25 PM
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Be short sweet and to the point, chicks love straight forward people.


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#22381 08/21/02 11:22 PM
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Quote:
Y gets news of Z (a friend) and X liking eachother
We're going to analyze what you just said here. You like the girl, friend likes the girl, and girl likes the friend. I hate to break it to you bud, but this isn't looking too good for you. Why? A few reasons...

1.) Girls love to flirt. It even seems as though women are born with an inate ability to do it. Now, the point that I'm driving at is that girls may flirt with you, and feel nothing of it. Meaning, you may fall completely head-over-heels in love with her, while she's just having a little fun.

2.) By telling me that the girl is into your friend, and not you, you're saying quite a bit about her level of interest in you. I think you need to start being realistic here, and realize that the odds of you and her getting together, while she is interested in your friend, is quite low.

Now, don't get too down. You can try something to gauge her interest in you. Moffesto, as strange and counter-productive as this might sound to you, I want you to start avoiding her. If she is genuinely interested in you, she will make the effort to spend more 1 on 1 time with you. See, girls love a mystery man. If you stop giving her the amount of attention that you used to, she will begin to wonder about your intentions. Suddenly she starts pursuing you. You take control of this situation at this point.

Now, let's look at the other side of the coin. Maybe you start avoiding her a little bit, and maybe she doesn't respond the way you want her to (by trying to spend time with you). This is the part that will be hard: walking away from the situation. If you are into her, and she is into someone else, don't try to push it. Telling her your feelings in this situation will only make her uncomfortable, and will push her away.

Also, by no means should you compromise your friendship with "Z" for this girl. My friends and I work on the concept of "bros before hoes." Meaning, your friends always come first.

Good luck.

#22382 08/22/02 07:00 AM
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oh, I failed to note this those rediculous pronouns Y and Z were friends. Yeah whatever. You got all the advice you need I think.


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#22383 08/22/02 08:30 AM
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My arm fell asleep. d00d I live that life 24/7... a bit diff. It happenZ wit me and a friend ( i got a lot of chicks as friends), yet I already go out with someone... As well other friends/chicks like me. Let her know how u feel, rest is up to her. Best of luck... I say if u got close, she digs ya... Sorry prob late here. Well I'm back people... I died again and couldn't come back till my boss let me go (the devil).


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#22384 08/22/02 11:47 AM
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Hmm, chicks love straight to the point people - erhmm I have to argue that Giz, cause Ive had my fair share of pussy and I tell you that being straight to the point did not work with over 60% of them.

But my suggestion(allmost always had worked for me) meet up with her and just get all nice and chatty. then when the time comes that she has to go or vice versa, just start kissing her. From what i know chicks like shy people, so act shy, hehe thats a death trap for most sweet and love dubbed chicks.

Ohhh compliment on her achievments, play as if u envy parts about her that you would have liked to have experienced, if she has been to places u aint been to, ask her about those places, be informative BUT always put her first ALWAYS!

Im pretty sure ull hit with the formula above.
If not kill urself


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#22385 08/22/02 12:26 PM
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i think i can pull the shy thing off, lol. I doubt ima kill myself, lol. Thanks for the advice tho. wink


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#22386 08/22/02 03:53 PM
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about the flirting thing, that [censored] pisses me off. People are always saying how some dude or girl is flirting or something, and it is so obvious that they aren't. Some cheerleader girl thought i "liked her" (she wasn't interested in me either) and started saying [censored] the same day, in the same class, because she thought i was flirting with her. Well, i assume she thought I was flirting with her, because the only thing i ever did that involved her was pick up a pen. It was so lame, but whatever.

I think i like unreal's advice best, but you seem to have it now. I just wanted to vent on that flirting [censored] that i see alot of people misunderstanding.

#22387 08/22/02 04:01 PM
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Tell ya the truth, I've never been straight fwd (xcpt 2x). One is my current, that is cuz I found out she liked me from a friend, so was easy. Yet everyone else, I chilled with the chick. I played around saying hey sexy yada. They tend to play along... Remember this, TICKLE THEM! LOL, it's so much fun and sometimes how they react shows they like you. Like one of my friends, she and I are close... We could have a relationship yet I'm saving her for later lol. I was playing bass, she was playing guitar... Chilled.. Then I was tired.. was on the couch. I tickled her and she was like ahh I'm tickleish...She held my hands to avoid being tickled but she didn't let go for awhile... Then I layed on top of her talking... Then I was like gimme a hug... It's about physical contact... LOL... A girl who likes you tends to make tickling and stopping a way to hold you... Seen it a lot... If you need help contact the pimps Psychogen & hKzKnight lol


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#22388 08/22/02 06:09 PM
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lol sounds like animals...though i just watched planet of the apes....

#22389 08/22/02 06:19 PM
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coldsunn- this went on for 3 hours, i know it was flirting. Me and her on the couch next to eachother etc and 3 hours strait of [censored] around. lol


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#22390 08/23/02 01:39 AM
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Der �belt�ter
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Let her know how u feel, rest is up to her.
This is exactly what I warned against doing in my post. Let's be realistic about this. Telling her how you feel right off the bat will do nothing good for this situation, and will most likely make her awkward and uncomfortable around you.

#22391 08/23/02 06:13 AM
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i agree unreal, it would also make me uncomfortable around her, specially if i said something i shouldnt, im good at that.


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#22392 08/23/02 12:51 PM
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Moff, I am not sure if you are just saying or if you mean that in response to what i said, but yeah, I would call that flirting, but intention makes all the difference.

Another of the main reasons I don't like the whole going out thing, is because it is like property. If i was going out with some chick and she "cheated" i wouldn't really care, she did it so whatever.

#22393 08/24/02 04:51 PM
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lol, i got to get in on this. Suprising as this may seem, Unreal's advice of staying away from the girl worked for me once. Girls, like guys, mostly want what they can't have. So you see how this could work to your advantage. Yeah, btw, girls who like your friends are nympho-sluts. Trust me, I know. Pretty soon, ur list of 'friends' will be going down as she gets them to hate you, one by one...ahem, anyway, if you really feel as strongly as you say u do about this woman, just tell her. I mean, worst case scenarion she laughs at you. But whatever, at least you fooled around for 3 hours right. Then when your friend starts being an [censored] to her and she gets dumped, she'll know she has a shoulder to cry on because of how 'sweet' u came off as. BTW, ColdSunn, in lower grades, girls take things like smiling at them and picking up their [censored] pens as flirting and some how 'liking them.' However, theyre good things to do to get them to notice you. Pretty soon they'll start talking to you, and whatdya know? Wow, have u ever noticed how girls bring out the worst in you...

#22394 08/25/02 01:06 AM
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lol. Not saying it i am not young or whatnot, but I would hope by 10th or 11th or whatever grade she was in, she would have stopped doing that [censored]. I never really think about it, but the only time I ever think a girl "likes" me is when they actually tell me.

"Pretty soon, ur list of 'friends' will be going down as she gets them to hate you, one by one..."

lmao.

#22395 08/25/02 10:05 AM
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Quote:
BTW, ColdSunn, in lower grades, girls take things like smiling at them and picking up their [censored] pens as flirting and some how 'liking them.'
Happens like that even in adult years, dude. We guys are just too foolish to see it. wink

#22396 08/26/02 04:19 PM
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u think that is funny. its true. because she'll being going out with your friend, then come and flirt with you all the time. so they get pissed at you for flirting with their girl. bitches smirk

#22397 08/26/02 04:52 PM
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lmao. that what happened with my other friend and his ex [censored] gf. Me and him went over and he sat down as me and he wrestled on the bed and he got so pissed, it was great. But anyways, i think the chick is going for my friend, he has more of a persoanlity.... if she ever figures it dont work out right then ill b open. She dose like me she said but she likes my friend a bit more and a bit longer of time so..... o well.


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