No one gives half a shit about anti virus and anti spyware; the antihacking one may get you somewhere but comeon man, you're a dolt and no one can stand you in the first place...

Get yourself a CCNA and MCSE and you'll be some use as a "Guru" of sorts; get yourself a Zend Certification and you'll proove to everyone you can learn anything (as you'd be the most anal retentive php programmer in existance)