Fuck DSL!!!
Get cable, it's faster. If you want free internet to LAN with, find someone in your neighborhood wiht a wireless connnection. Buy an antenna and an amp for the signal. Then just 'hack' yourself a password and username, log on to the netowrk, and you will be moving at at least DSL speeds, which is about 600Kbps.
Life's a bitch and then you die so f**k the world and let's get high!