of course aliens exist.. but only right outside jonconley's windows. they love to watch him typing on his computer late into the night. they follow him to the basement when he decides to go to bed. then they hover over him and discuss whether or not they should probe him this time. muhahahaha. they're watching you conley! you best grab that foil hat of yours and be on guard!
"when you look around, you can't tell me honestly you're happy with what you see"