Well, on UGN Security's behalf, I would like to present you with this official UGN Security Jizz Bucket, it has been autographed by Wonka, The Village People, and The A Team(Mr. T too).
May it yield you many sips on those lonely thirsty nights when you cannot find some Mountain Dew or other caffeinated beverage...

*You receive one Jizz Bucket*